Internet pop ups that make you scream!

Have you ever clicked on a website only to be greeted by some annoying pop up ad or subscribe request? Somehow some webmasters think it’s a cool way to get their message in your face. You can almost see the grin of inspiration as he rubs his hands together before scripting in the abominable code. He sits back with a self satisfied smirk as he imagines a web surfer opening the web page, the ad pops up and the surfer smiles and says “how cool is that?”
Well here’s a news flash. Surfers have gotten very savvy and pop up ads are the last things they want to see. When they are looking free software do not bother them about some so called cool hosting plan. They will click out of it; stomp the damn thing to a mush if they could.
If the webmaster sets the ad in such a way that even if you click out of it you are redirected to another website, then the web surfer becomes even more pissed. If he could he would run a trace to find you and burn your house down.
The point is if you want visitors to your site to be happy you need to stop doing certain things. Here is a list.

1. No pop up ads; no, not even ads with half naked girls. If we wanted to see that we would have gone straight to a porn site.
2. No “subscribe now” pop ups. If we like your shit we will bookmark you.
3. For the love of God stop sending bots to our computers to know about our surfing patterns. You think it’s just a marketing research tool but we consider it right up there with trying to break into our homes. We will find you and end you. So says spybot destroyer.

4. Do not spam. We have been screaming this since the 90s.
5. Do not say something is free then when we sign up we see a price tag. This absolutely pisses us off in ways you could only imagine.
The next time you decide to build a website, know that this list is for real. We have more websites available than we can surf in a lifetime. We have choice. If you diss the program we will blog badly about you and go elsewhere. Peace.

The truth about sugar

Image by dhammza via Flickr

You hear the health expert say it everyday, “stay away from sugar!” sugar has gotten such a bad rap it is now right up there in the rogue gallery of things like arsenic and cyanide.
However, does sugar deserve all this negative publicity? Saying bad things about sugar just isn’t sweet. Have a heart people. Even though they say sugar is bad for your heart it is good for your brain.
All the energy that the brain gets it derives from glucose. All the other organs have the luxury of breaking down fat and other things we consume to get energy but all the brain uses is sugar. Those of us who have jobs that require a lot of mental focus and intellect crave sugar.
Take away our sugar and we are likely to go on a killing rampage. I have lady friends who decided to follow the health Gurus and cut sugar out of their diet. They immediately transformed into snarling, grumpy, irritable monsters who would eat your head off in a second.
I swear to you, PMS has nothing on sugar deprivation. If you want to see a woman behave like two periods hitting in one month take away her sugar.

Why do men like liquor so much? It’s distilled sugar. Beer gives you a big belly but man there is nothing like a cold beer on a hot day.
The problem is not sugar. The problem is our lifestyle. We have all the sugar our brain ask for but then we sit on our lazy assess and don’t do any physical activity to burn it. You can’t have your cake and eat it. Get up and at least stretch for goodness sake.

Cancer a lifestyle disease?

Researchers have conducted a study which concludes that the highest factors for cancer are related to lifestyle. We eat crap, drink booze, smoke like a chimney, or sit around as the lord and masters of lazy town.
Some people do all of the above. The researchers state that even though genetics plays a role it is not a big a factor as was previously thought.
Again we are told to eat more fruits and vegetables. You heard right. If you want to live a long and boring life without steaks, chocolate, fries and chicken dripping with mouth watering oil then become a vegetarian.

If you want a short life filled with the joys of cholesterol saturated treats then all you have to do is stop by your nearest fast food joint. They will be happy to serve you. Each savory bite may be one step closer to a heart attack. Who says you can’t dig your own grave with your mouth.
So the next time you put something in your mouth (I mean food) just remember that you are making a life changing choice. The grim reaper is patting you on the shoulder and saying, “what about a second serving?”
In case you now feel caught in a dilemma, don’t worry. That stress you are feeling is also trying to send you to an early grave.

THE DUDUS AFFAIR

IS THIS HOW THE USA, JAMAICA DEAL WENT DOWN?

 

FUNNY THINGS ANIMALS SAY

Kitten’s have military tactics too. But you would not know about that because it would be top secret.

Now here is a negotiation that has gone south. “Naw sell out mi fren dem!”

Does this inspire you to become a vegetarian?

And you thought kittens were sneaky.

Britain hates the caribbean?

 

Image by stumayhew via Flickr

Tourism Minister Edmund Bartlett, the poor soul, came as the bearer of bad news. The United Kingdom has denied the Caribbean‘s appeal to remove the travel tax for tourist traveling to the Caribbean.
This move will only serve to further jack up the tourism industry in this territory. How do you think the Caribbean should respond? How about this? Put up its right hand, make a fist then extend a middle finger.
The Caribbean and especially Jamaica is not the UK’s flavor of the month right now. Could it have something to do with the fact that they have a problem with Jamaica’s anti-gay culture?
Britain’s Prime Minister has pretty much made it clear that they will be cutting aid if the government does not put in place legislation to protect gay rights. I wonder if they would be so flippant if Jamaica had oil reserves or if we had the economic boom of China. We don’t see them taking out the strap for certain countries despite their habit of blowing people to bits or screwing their civil rights.
What the high and mighty UK seems to have forgotten is that their wealth was built up from the shameful slavery system that they were proud members of. This is how you repay the so called Common Wealth Countries? America had the good sense kick you out of their country and gain their independence.
UK can be nice and civil about this or they can continue to be the bullies responsible for kicking another third world country in the balls.

Britain tells the E U to go shove it!

Who's bad?

Britain is one bad mother shut your mouth! EU member countries had a long drawn out meeting to resolve their economic woes but Britain was like you guys are jacked up but we are not. It was agreed that all member states should have an economic treaty to boost each other’s economies but Britain all but said, you can take your deal and shove it.
The treaty would see economic cooperation among member states. Like I borrow a cup of sugar from you today and you ask for a cup of salt tomorrow, or like, you rub my back and I’ll give you a feel around. Britain was not in a sharing mood and it is likely to put a few dents in the whole affair.
Britain seems to have taken a stance similar to a germaphobe’s response to a person with leprosy. The rest of you guys are economically sick and I won’t touch lest I should get sick too. Cheer up Italy. The Brits never liked you anyway.
As far France and Britain are concerned, their beef goes back probably as far as the stone stone-age. The typical Brit probably thinks this kind of treaty will only mean that Britain will have to bail out other European countries like Greece whose economy is shot to hell.
Charity is not everybody’s favorite past time and not wanting to tick off those who voted for them the British government is taking a strictly hands off approach.
It will be a cold day in hell before the British trade in their pound sterling for the Euro currency. Then again air cooling technology is improving all the time. So until Britain removes the stick from their bum and decide to play nice, cheerios.

Package sent to Bank CEO was bomb

Josef Ackermann

The world economy has taken a nose dive since 2009 and guess who some people are blaming again? If you guessed “fat rich bankers who add nothing to the economy but shuffle funds that don’t really belong to them” then congratulations you are a winner.
A letter bomb was sent to German capitalist banker Josef Ackermann and he was not amused. The letter was intercepted and somewhere someone is swearing like a sailor.
A lot of people are venting their frustration at the opulent lifestyle of big wig executives. When a man goes to bed hungry on a constant basis he starts to imagine some rich banker sitting around a five course meal with a gut the size of the US debt. This kind of imagining inspires him educate himself, like going online to find out what fertilizer can be used for apart from growing vegetables. Or perhaps how to formulate a poisonous, traceless substance.
The truth is, violence does not solve every problem. Maybe if we all withdrew our funds from the money grubbing corrupt banking moguls, they would all have heart attacks. Who said there is only way to skin a fat cat? So the next time you feel like you need to physically injure someone, remember that hurting their money is just as deadly.